Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Suhagraat Ki Baat

Ladki ki Suhagrat - Majedar Suhagrat Jokes

Suhagrat ko Pati ne apni Patni se bade hi pyaar se puchha -
"Darling aaj ki raat tum mujhse jo bhi mangogi main tumhe sure lake Dunga"
Patni ne jaldi se Takiye ke nichhe se ek photo nikali aur boli -
"Please iss bande ko aaj ki raat laa do aur tum kahi chale jao"

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Jab Ladki ki Suhagrat ke baad uski Saheli Puchhti hai
Kaisi rahi Suhagrat ?

To vo batati hai – "Aaye the wo der se, Dil jala diya,
Pahle kiya Kiwad band,
Fir Deepak Bhuja diya ...
Pahle khel khelne lage Seena Tatolkar,
Fir khel khelne lage Underwear khol kar,
Ek Jang Aisi chhidi Palang par,
Gole wali Top rakh di Surang par,
Yah tha 9 Minute ka Majaa,
Ab bhog rahi hu 9 Mahine ki saja,
9 Mahine baad 1 aisa ho ga Visfot,
Jo ban jayga Bharat ke liye 1 Aur Vote...

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Suhagrat Ke Baad, Pati Apni Patni Se Bola
Pati - Arey BlooD To Nikla Hi Nahi...
Patni Ne Guusse Main Aakar Jawab Diya
-
Patni - "Kyu be Harami Tune Andar Teer Mara Tha Kya."

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Suhagrat Ko Pati Ke Ander Guste Hi Biwi Ne Apna Blouse Utar Diya.
Pati Ye Dekh Kar Bada Hairan Hua Aur Biwi Se Pucha?
Pati : "Arrey Tumne Mere Aate Hi Apna Blouse Kyu Utaar Diya?"
Biwi Sharmate Hue : "Ji, Aapki Bhabi Ne Kaha Tha Ki Jaate Hi Apne Pati Ko...
Dudh Zarur Pila Dena"

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Ek Aadmi Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, November Ka Mahina Thha Aur Kadake Ki Sardi padd Rahi Thi...
Kamre Mein Aate Hi Vo Rajayi Mein Ghusa Aur So Gaya,
Patni Ne Ye Dekha Aur Thodi Der Bad Usko Kohni Mar Ke Boli,
Patni : "Suno Ji, Meri Taango Ke Bich Mein Ek Mori (Hole) Bhi Hai"
Aadmi Gusse Se : "To Band Kar Us Mori Ko, Main Bhi Sochu Rajayi Mein Thandi Hawa Kaha Se Aa Rahi Hai"

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Ladke Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, Rat Ko Kamre Mein Gaya Aur Dulhan Ka Ghungat Utha Ke Uska Chehra Dekh Ke Bola...
Dulha : "Tum Itni Sunder Ho, Samajh Mein Nahi Aata Tumhe Kya Kahu?"
Bahar Khada Uska Baap Sun Raha Tha, Ye Sun Ke Wo Bola...
Baap : "Beta Bas Tu Use Ek Baar Maa Kah de, Baki Mein Dekh Lunga"

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Nayi Dulhan Ko Dulhe Ne Suhagrat Par Muh Dikhai Ke Rs 25,000 Diye...
Dulhan Itne Sare Paise Dekh Kar Ghabra Ke Boli.
Dulhan : "Suno Ji Pura Khandaan Thokega Kya?"

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Ek 75 saal ka buddhe ne 15 saal ki ladki se shadi ki, Suhagrat par dono khub roye...
Kyoki ladki kuch janti nahin thi aur bhuda sab bhul gaya tha...

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Suhagrat ko Dulha bola : Jaan, Aaj raat tumhe chand pe le jaaun ya taaro pe...
Dulhan sharma ke boli : Ye to Aapka rocket dekh kar hi bataa paungi...

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Mochi Ki Shaadi Hui,
Suhaagraat Mein Woh Kuch Kiye Bina Hi So Gaya.
-
Biwi Ne Uska Haath Apne Neeche Lagaya Toh Woh Chonk Ke Bola,
-
-
-
"Isski Silaai Ke 35 Ruppaye Lunga"

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Ek Admi Ke Bete Ki Shadi Hone Wali Thi Toh Wo Furniture Wale Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola,
Aadmi : Mistri Ji, Bed Zara Majbut Banana, Mere Ladke Ne Bahu Pe Chadna Hai.

Ab Mistri Bhi Pura Kameena Tha, Bola : Ji Chinta mat Karo, Aisa Majboot Bed Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Bahu Pe Chad Jaaye Toh Bhi Nahi Tutega...

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Suhagraat Ke Baad :
Pati -Tujhe Raat Ko Zyada Dard Ya Takleef To Nahi Hui na?
Patni -Nahi, Bahut Maza Aaya... Dard to Tab Hota Tha Jab Mai School Mein Thi...

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Ek Aadmi Jiski Mobile Ki Shop Thi Uski Shaadi Hui
Suhagrat Se Agle Din Uske Dosto Ne Puchha
-
Dost - Kyu Bhai, Kaisi Rahi Suhagrat?

Mobile Wala Udasi Se - Kuch Mat Pucho Yaaro, Pehale 5 - 6 Bar To Mis Call Lagi, Aur Jab Sahi No. Laga To Balance Hi Khatam Ho Gaya...

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Suhagrat par Dulhe ne Dulhan ki aankh ko chuma...
Dulhan : Ye Kya?
Dulha : Aankh Zindagi ki kitab hai..
Dulhan : Niche library main Aag lagi hai aur tu kitab main ghusaa hua hai...

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SuhagRat par dulha - Ya Allah Mujhe Taqat aur Tajurba de
Dulhan - Suniye ji sirf taqat ki dua mang lijiye,
Allah ke fazal se Tajurba to yahan bahut hai...

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Pappu apni pahali Suhagrat ko apni Dulhan ko Sahlate hue bola - Apko pata hai..
Main hamari sadi se pahale 6-7 Ladies ke sath So chuka hu...
Dulhan Muskrate hue - Mujhe to pahale se hi pata tha,
Jab hamari Kundli itni achhi milti hai to hamari AAdatein bhi Jarur milengi hi na...

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Suhagrat par Patni Pati se boli, Dekho pls mere pass mat Aana"
Pati : But kyu?
Patni : Mane mummy se promise kiya tha ki Sadi ke baad ye sab Chodd dungi...

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Suhagraat ko husband wife se bolta hai ijaajat hai?
Wife - Hai ji.
Husband sari raat saxx karta hai aur wife Bimar ho jati hai...
husband wife ko sasural chodd kar wapas aane ke liye apni Saas se bolta hai - ijaajat hai?
Ye baat sun kar wife jor se chilla kar bolti hai - Maa ijaajat mat dena, nahi to tumhari bhi Phaad daalega...

Suhagrat, Suhagrat Jokes, Suhagrat ki Photo

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

very nice.....

Anonymous said...

Very very nice

king kumarsanu said...

Great jokes

Anonymous said...

One of these jokes has been copied in grand masti (2013) movie, tumhe chand par le jau ya taron par, yeh toh main aapka rocket dekh kar hi....

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