Saturday, January 15, 2011

Santa Aur Banta Ke Chutkule and Jokes

Santa Banta Jokes and Chutkule

Santa ko Phasi ki Saja hui
Jailer : Phasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Santa : Biwi Se
Jailer : Maa-Baap se nahi
Santa : Maa-Baap to agla janm lete hi mil jyenge

biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!!

************

Santa Ne Hindi ka home work nahi kiya tha... Hindi Teacher ne usko ped par ULTA latakne ki saza di...
Thodi der Latakne ke baad Santa Neeche gir gaya...
Teacher : Thak gaye kya ?
Santa : Nahi ab pakk gaya


***********

Santa : Agar raat ko Macchar kate to kya karna chahiye
Banta : Khuzla kar so jana Chahiye, Tum RajniKant nahi ho jo Machhar ko pakadkar SORRY Bulwaoge...

***********

Teacher : "Ye Kitaab Kiski Hai? "
Santa : " Kagaz Ki Hai "
Teacher : " Ye To Main Bhi Janta Hoon "
Santa : " To Harami Fir Puch Kyu Raha Hai? "

***********

Bhikhari Santa se : Sahab 10 Rupee de do.. Chaye pini hai,
Santa : Chaye to 5 ki aati hai!
Bhikari : Meri Girl friend bhi Piyegi,
Santa : Bhikari ne bhi Girl Friend bana li!
Bhikari : Nahi Sahab, Girl Friend ne Bhikari bana diya...

***********

Santa public toilet mai gya to diwar per likha tha "Duniya Chand pe Pahuch gai or tu Yaha baitha Hai"

…………………………………..
Santa niche likh aya "Bas TATTI kar ke HUm bhi nikal rahe hain"


***********

Santa : (Futball ke maidan par Banta se) - Are ye log bar bar Ball ko kyu maar rahe hai ?
Banta : Are wo log Gol kar rahe hain,
Santa : Are ball to pahale se hi Gol hai, Aur kitna Gol karenge....

***********

Santa : Aaj Rat main nahi Souunga,
Banta : Kyu ?
Santa : kyuki kal raat sapane main meri kisi se Ladaii ho gayi thi, Aaj wo Bande le kar aayega....

***********

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta : Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa : Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.

***********

Girl : Will u marry me?
Santa : No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai.
Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

***********

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa : Who r u?
Girl : Seeta here.
Santa : Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.

***********

Banta : Apki Patni kho gayi hai, Aapne Police main kyu nahi Bataya,
Santa : kyuki jab mera Scooter kho gaya tha to Police walo ne 15-20 din chala kar wapas kiya tha....

***********

Santa ke Pita America se Wapas aaye !
Pita : teri Ma kaha hai,
Santa : wo to Mar gayi,
Pita : To tumne bataya kyu nahi,
Santa : Mane socha apko Surprise dunga...


Santa-Banta

2 comments:

anand said...

Or aace say cutkle bhejo.

vaibhav pandey said...

good jokes

Post a Comment