Thursday, July 30, 2015

Sardar ji ka Long Password

Sardar's e-banking password was
"ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-kejriwal"
Banta - yar itna lamba password.
Sardar - Kya karu, Bank wale bolte hain ki Password main 5 Character aur 1 capital hona chahiye.
Banta - Wo sab thik hai par ye Kejri uncle kyu??
Sardar - Ek special character bhi hona Zroori hai...

Friday, July 17, 2015

ATM ki Samasya

ATM ki Samasya
Bhanja - Are Mama Aaj Gaon ka ATM band ky hai,
Mama - kya batauu Bhanje, tumhari Mami boli ki aaj main khud ATM se Paise Nikalungi...
Bhanja - ye to achhi baat hai na Mama
Mama - Yar us ATM ki Screen par jase hi likha aaya 'Enter your PIN' to teri Mami ne apne Baloon ka PIN fasa diya...

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Jannat Ke Parde 20-20 Rupaye Main

Ek Aadmi Market Mein Jor-Jor Se Chilla
Raha Tha - Jannat Ke Parde 20-20 Rupaye
Main, Jannat Ke Parde 20-20 Rupaye Main...
Sare Market Ke Log Apna-Apna Kaam
Chhod Kar Uske Paas aa gaye
Paas Jakar Dekha To, Haramkhor Bra Aur
Pantis Bech Raha Tha.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Ye Koi Aam Shampoo Nahi Hai

Santa shampoo ko Sar ke sath - sath kandho per bhi laga raha tha
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Wife ne pucha - Kandho per shmpu kyun laga rahe ho?
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Santa - Are Bewkoof ye koi aam shampu nahi hai
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-
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Head & Shoulder hai.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Ek Bhikari aur Khubsoorat Lady

Ek Bhikari Signal Pe Bhikh Mang Raha Tha,
Tabhi Ek Car Mein Se Ek Khubsoorat Lady Ne Use
Bhikh Di,
Bhikh Leke Bhikhari Aage Jane Laga, To Aurat Ne
Kaha.
Lady - Arey Kuch Dua To Do Mene Tumhe 10 Ruapye Ka Not Diya Hai?
Bhikhari - Car Main To Beithi Hai
Ab Kya Lode Pe Bethne Ki Dua Doon

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Hindustani Style se Paresan Call Girls

Ek bar America main international call girls ka bazar laga. waha sabhi country ki ek se badkar ek call girls aayi.
Ek Hindustani bhi waha gaya aur uska bhi waha sexx karne ka man kiya to usne sabse rate pucha
China wali boli - 2000 rs.
Hindustani - 4000 dunga par karunga Hindustani Style main
wo dar gayi, ki pata nai kya karega or usne mana kar diya
phir bangkok wali se rate pucha
wo boli - 5000 rs.
Hindustani - 10,000 dunga par karunga Hindustani Style main
par is dar se ki pata nai ye kase karega usne bhi mana kar diya
aur isi ki vajh se sabhi ne mana kar diya
phir last main America ki ladki se rate pucha usne kaha - 1 lac
Hindustani - 2 lac dunga par karunga Hindustani Style main
America wali ne socha ki hamne to sabhi style main sexx karwaya hai aaj isko bhi dekh lete hain aur
usne yes bol diya aur uske sath chali gayi.
Raat ko Hindustani ne usko khub ragad ke chooda
morning main jab wo wapas aayi to sab call girls ne usse Hindustani style ke bare main pucha ki usne kaise kiya...
Aakhir kya tha hindustani Style
America wali boli - Bahan ka Loda UDHAAR karke chala gaya.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Naukrani aur Condom ka Confusion

Ek Naukrani Ko Ghar Ka Kaam Karte time Ek Condom Mila, Usko Samajh Nahi Aaya Ki Ye Kya Cheez Hai,
usne Socha ki Malkin ko Jake Puchti Hun, Shayad Unhe Pata Hoga ki ye Kya Cheez Hai
Naukrani - Bibi Ji, Ye Kya Cheez Hai?
Malkin Ne Hairan Ho kar Pucha - Tumhe Nahi Pata Kya, Tumhare Yaha Sexx Nahi Karte?
Naukrani ne Kuch Der Socha Phir Hairani Se Boli - "Haan Karte To Hai, Par Itna Bhi Nahi Ki LODE Ki Khaal Hi Utar Jaye"

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Ek 9 saal ke Ladke par rape ka aarope

Ek 9 saal ke Ladke par ek ladki Rape karne ka Aarope lagati hai,
Mukadma Adalat main chala jata hai,
Ladke ki Vakil uski tunni ko pakadkar - Jajj saab kya iski Tunni ko dekhkar apko lagta hai ki ye ladka rape kar sakta hai,
Ladka - Vakil sahiba aap isko jayada mat hilaoo nahi to hum ye 'CASE HAAR JAYENGE'

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Wishing You Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2015

Dear all, Wish You and Your Family a very Happy New Year 2015. May this year bring new Happiness, New Goals, New Achievements and a lot of New Inspirations in your Life.

Happy New Year 2015

Naya Savera Nayi Kiran Ke Sath
Naya Din Ek Pyari Si Muskaaan Ke Sath
Aapko Naya Saal Mubarak Ho Dher Sari Duaon Ke Sath
Happy New Year 2015

********

Bhul jao beete hue kal ko
Dil main basa lo aane wale kal ko
Muskraoo chahe jo bhi ho pal
Khusiyan lekar aayega aane wala kal
Happy New Year 2015

********

Is Naye Saaal main,
Jo tu chahe wo tera ho,
Har din khubsoorat aur ratain roshan ho,
Kamiyabi chuumte rahe tere kadam hamesha yaar,
Naya Saal Mubarak ho tuje mere Yaar.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Aaj ke Masaledar Chutkule

Seexx Ke Waqt Ladki Apni Tange Faila Ke apne Boyfriend Se Puchti Hai...
Ladki - "Yar Hamare Bachhe Ka Naam Kya Hoga?"
Ladka Condom Pahan Ke Bola - "Agar Iske Baad Bhi kuch Ho Gaya To uska name JAADOO Rakhenge"

********

Bachhe ne apni Mom ki Breast dekhi aur pucha..
Child - Mom Ye Kya Hai?
Mom - Ye Gubbare Hai
Child - Fir Mousi Ke Chote Kyun hai?
Mom - wo Tune Kab Dekhe?
Child - Jab Papa Unme Hawa Bhar Rahe The tab...

Monday, October 27, 2014

Suhagraat Aur Raat Main Farq

Savita - Yar Raat Aur Suhagrat Main Kya Fark hota Hai?
Kavita - Suhagrat Main Hum Sirf Pati Ke Sath hi So Sakte Hain aur Jab Ki Raat Main Aisa Koi Niyam Nahi Hota.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

College Main Madam Question puchti hai

College Main Madam Question puchti hai...
Madam - "Lakir ka Fakir" Muhavare ka udhahran bataoo
Ek ladka - Mam Aap Bura to Nahi Manegi?
Madam - Nahi Bura Qu?
Ladka - Aapki Panty ke andar
jo Lakir hai
Hum Uske fakir hai..

Friday, September 12, 2014

Bechara Pati ab kya kare

Bechara Pati ab kya kare
Pati ne patni ko surprise dene ke liye apne niche ke baal katvaye aur chupke se so gaya.
Neend main patni ne niche haath fera to boli : devarji aap kab aaye?

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Ultimate Whatsapp Jokes aur Chutkule

Ek bande Ne Ek Function Orgnize Kiya..
Usne Dekha Ki Invitation Se Zyada Log Aaye Hai..
Wo Stage Par Gaya Aur Bola..
Jo Jo Ladki Walon Ki Taraf Se Wo Idher Ek side Me Aa Jaye..
10-15 log Aa Gye Ek Taraf...
Phir usne Bola Ki Jo Ladke Walon Ki Taraf Se Hain Wo Bhi Udher Aa jaye.
10-15 Log Phir Aa Gye...
Ab usne Ek Danda Le Ke Un Sab ko (ladki wale plus ladke wale) ko bhagaya
aur kaha Kamino Ye Sharma ji ki retirement Party hai...

***********

Wife Pati Ko Maar Rahi Thi.
Padosi - Kyu Maar Rahi Ho is Bechare Pati Ko??
Patni - Koi Bechara Nahi Hai, Inko Call Kiya To Ek Ladki Boli,
"Aap Hamare Jis Grahak Se Sampark Karna Chahate Ho, Wo Abhi Vyast Hai !!!

***********

10 saal ka Chota bunty..
Sheela bhabi aur ek ladke Ko Sex Karte Huwe Dekh Leta Hai..
Bunty - "Mujhe Bhi Karne Do...Warna aap ke husband Ko Bata Dunga..!"
Sheela bhabi - thik hai aa jao tum bhi Kar Lo..
Bunty Kaafi Try Karta Hai Par Uska Khada Hi Nahi Hota..
Bunty (Chaddi Pahente Huwe) - "Duniyadari Ki Maa Ka Bhhosda...
Jo Galat Hai Wo Galat Hai...Main to Bataaunga...

***********

American Ki Soch – Hum Chaand Par To Paunch Gaye, Ab Next Kya Karna Hai?
Chinese Ki Soch – Hum 90% Duniya Ki Market Pe Raj Kar Rahe Hain, Ab Baki Par Kaise Karein?
Aur Indian Ki Soch - Aaj 12 Baje Light Gayi To 2 Baje Aayi Thi, Uske baad 4 Baje Gayi To 6 Baje Aayi,
To Iska Matlab Hai Ke Ab 8 Baje Jayegi. Ooooooye..“Fata Fat Motor Chala Ke Paani Bhar Lo.

***********

Ek jungle main male janwar female janwar ko 24 ghante chhodte rahte the!
Saari female mil ke Bhagwan ke paas gai
or vardan manga ki kam se kam 1 mahiney ke liye chudaaii se mukti mile!
Bhagwan ne SAB male janwaron ke laudey kaat ke unko coupon de diye
or bole ki 1 mahiney ke baad coupon lana or apna londaa le jana!
Sham ke time 1 Bandar ped par baitha tha.
Bandriya ne usey chedtey hue kaha
Chhod saale, bhenchhod! Ab chhod na mujhe???
Bandar kuch ni bola??
Bandriya phir boli "Chhod na Bhadve, chhod na behen ke lauude"??
Bandar ne ek choti si smile di
or bola: "1 mahina ruk ja! Bhen ki Laaudi. Teri Maa Chhodd dunga.
Maine Ghode ka coupon chura liya hai..?? ??

***********

Teacher - why are you laughing alone.
Tell us the joke so that whole class can laugh.
Student - Sir ye aapko lodu bol rahaa hai??

***********

A couple went to a Saxx Therapist office at a BIG Corporate Hospital.
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us having saxx, for your expert analysis?
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said,
"There's nothing wrong with the way you have, "and charged them Rs.1300.
This happened several weeks in a row.
The couple would make an appointment, have everything with no problems, pay the doctor and then leave.
Finally the doctor asked, "exactly what are you trying to find out?
"The man said, "We're not trying to find out anything.
She's married and we can't go to her house I'm married and we can't go to my house.
The Oberoi charges Rs. 15000,
Taj charges Rs. 14000,
Le Meridian charges Rs.12500.
We do it here for Rs.1300,
Punch line is yet to come.....
And I get that 1300, back from MediClaim.

***********

Height of prank call??????
Hello pooja hai...???
Nahi...????
To karvalo... Jai Mata Di !!!!??????

***********

Height of irritating someone:
Boy - pen hai??
Girl - nahi..
Thodi der baad..
Boy - pen hai??
Girl - nahi hai bola na..
Boy - pen hai pen ??
Girl - nahi hai kaminey, aur abki bar pucha to hathode se sar phod dungi
Kuch der baad...
Boy - hathoda hai kya..???
Girl - nahi..
Boy - accha.. to phir pen hai pen..???..????

***********

A guy calls an unknown number..
Guy - Fridge hai?
Reply - Haan hai.
Guy - Chalta hai?
Reply - Haan chalta hai..
Guy - To pakad ke rakhna, warna bhaag jaayega..
And he hangs up.. After a while, he calls up again..
Guy - Fridge hai?
This time the person's really angry.
Reply - Nahi hai.
Guy - Kahaan se hoga..
Bola tha na pakad ke rakhna varna bhaag jaayega..????

***********

Heart melting love story:
Boy - I can't marry u.
My family is totally against it.
Girl - Who are they 2 stop u?
Boy: My wife & 2 kids...

***********

Doctor - Kaise aana hua?
Patient - Doctor saab tabiyat theek nahi hain
Doctor - Sharab peete ho?
Patient - Peeta to hoon, par chhota peg hi banana. I'm not feeling well !??

***********

One more Height of prank call.
Hello Popatlal hai?
Nahi....
Hang up After some time again????
Hello Popatlal hai???
Bola na nahi hai....
Hang up And again????
Hello Popatlal hai???
Nahi hai mere baap....
Hang up And one more time????
Hello Popatlal hai???
haan hai bol, kya chahiye??
chal hat,.....jhut mat bol, .......Popat green hota hai..Lal nahi....

***********

Ek bar ek udas Bandar marne ko gaya.
To jate jate usne sote hue Sher ki Gand main ungli dal di.
Sher utha aur gusse se dahada - "kisne kiya ye..
Kisne apni maut bulayi hai.
Bandar bola - "Main hu maharaaj.
Sher ne pucha - "ye krte hue tumhe kisi ne dekha.?
Bandar - "Nahi, Maharaj.
Sher - ok, To ek bar aur karo aacha lagta hai.

Moral - Akele Reh-Reh Kar Jungle Ka Raja Bhi Gandu Ho Jaata Hai, So Keep In Touch With Friends...

***********

man was watching a DVD at home..
and jor jor se cheekhne laga.....?Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!?
Ghode par se mat utar..
Pagal mat utar.. Its a trap!! Its a trap!!
Kutte ki maut Marega? saale..
Wife - Kya dekh rahe ho??
Man - Our wedding DVD!!

***********

Girl - dotted condom dijiye.
Dukanwale ne diya...
Girl - isse jyada dotted chahiye.
Duknwale ne diya...
Girl - isse jyada dotted condom ho to dijiye...
Dukanwala - Bhutta use kijiye madam Bhutta !!! Season bhi hai...

***********

Santa - Jaanu, tu mujhe din main Sardarji keh ke bulati hai
aur Raat ko sex ke time Gyani ji
Aisa Q?
Wife - Bewakuf Raat ko Gyani ji nahi ‘GAYA-NAHI-JI’ Kehti hu

***********

to be continue



Leave your Jokes in comment box to get live on the blog

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Santa ko Tharak chadi aur Nano Book kar aaya

Santa ko Tharak chadi to KOTHE par gaya
KOTHE par ladkiyo ki quality ke basis par name rakhe the
Accord - 10000
Civic - 9000
Verna - 8000
Swift - 3000
i10 - 1000
Nano - 500
Santa ko kam paise main kaam chalana tha isliye Nano book karke room main pahunch gaya
Room main kuch der baad 1 HIZZdE ko bheja gaya
Santa - oye teri... ye kya Bkchodi hai, Maal kaha hai Maal
KOTHE ki Malkin - oye sardar ji Nano ka Engion Peeche hi hota hai...

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Pati raat ko Khana kha raha tha

Pati raat ko Khana kha raha tha...
Pati - Ye daal main Baal ka guchha kyu hai
Patni - Wo mere neeche ke Baal hain ji,
Pati - madarchhodd yeh tune kya kiya..
Patni - Ji AAP hi to rozana kehte ho ki khane main jhaat bhar ka swaad nahi... Isliye aaj daal diye...

Pati aur Patni Jokes

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Sarabi Aadmi ke Dumdar Chutkule

Pappu - Agar Gadhe ko Sarab aur pani dono pine ko diya jae to Gadha kya piyega
Sarabi - Zahir hai Pani hi piyega
Pappu - kyu?
Sarabi - kyoki wo Gadha hai...

*********

Ek Sarabi Hotel main jata hai aur puchta hai
Garam kya hai ?
Vaiter - Chaumin
Sarabi - Aur Garam
Vaiter - Soop
Sarabi - Aur Garam
Vaiter -Garam Pani
Sarabi - Aur Garam
Vaiter - AAG ka Gola hai Sale...
Sarabi - Laker aao... bidi jalani hai

Friday, April 18, 2014

Amir Tau ki Hakikat

Ek Tau hospital main Aakhiri Saanse gin raha tha uski faimly aur 1 nurse uske bistar ke pass khade the,
Tau apne bade bete se bola, beta tum mere TDI City wale 15 Bangle le lo,
Beti se kaha : Tu Sonipat sec 14 ke Bangle le le,
Chote bete se kaha, beta tu sabse chota hai, aur mujhe sabse payara bhi, tujhe main rohini Sec 24 pocket 13 ki 20 Dukaan deta hu,
aur last main Tau apni patni se bola, mere baad tumhe paiso ke liye kisi ka muh na takna pade isliye mere unity wale 12 flat tum apne pass rakh lo,
Pass main khadi Nurse, jo ye sab sun rahi thi, bahut impress hui aur boli "Aap bahut lucky hain ki apko itne Amir pati mile jo itni sari Jaydad dekar ja rahe hain,
-
Patni : are Kaun Amir? kaisi Jaydad? are ye to DUDHIYA hai ham sabko Jimmedariya baant raha hai subah - subha Doodh pahuchane ki...

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Pappu aur Pathan ke chutkule

Pathan - wo jo Table par Aadmi baitha hai uss se hamara Dusmani hai...
Pappu - Table par to 4 Aadmi hain
Pathan - wo jiski Moochh hai,
Pappu - Moochh to sabhi ki hain...
Pathan - wo jiske white kapde hain
Pappu - wo to sabhi ke hi white hain...
Pathan ne gusse se pistol nikala aur 3 ko goli maar di aur jo bach gaya uski taraf isaara kar ke bola, iss se hamara Dusmani hai... isko hum nahi chodega.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Ladki ka April Fool banaya

Ek Ladka apni Girl Friend ki Sikayat karta hai
Police - Tumne apne Boy friend ko Qu mara?
Girl - Haramkhor ne pahale to bed per giraya, phir Bra utari, phir underwear utari, phir tang uthai, CONDOM pehna Or fir ye harami bola APRIL FOOL...

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Pappu ki Suhagrat

Pappu Suhagrat main Sexx Karte hue apni Patni se bola...
Mane Saadi Se Pehale Bahut sari call girls ke sath sexx kiya Hai
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Patni - Main bhi Itni Der Se Yahi Soch Rahi thi Ki
Aapko Kahi Dekha Hai...

boys ki salary or girls ke periods

Boys ki SALARY or Girls ke PERIODS
Ek Jaise Hote hain..
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30 din Main 1 baar hi Aate Hain Or
5-6 din Main Khatam Ho Jate Hain.
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Late Aaye To Tension oR agar Na Aaye To
Samjho Watt Lag Gayi...

Friday, January 24, 2014

Suhagraat par Pati Patni ko sirff kiss kar ke so gaya

Suhagraat par Pati Patni ko sirff kiss kar ke so gaya.
Subahh Maa boli - "Bahu, mandir jane se pehle naha lena...
Patni gusse main - "Sirf brush hi kar leti hu maaji, baki sab fresh hai...

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Most Popular Joke of the Day

Santa Ek Doctor ke pass gaya aur pucha - Doctor Sahab ghar chalkar chek-up karne ki kya Fees hai
Doctor ne kuch socha aur bola - 300 Rupaye
Santa - Ok thik hai chaliye
Itna sunte hi Doctor ne apni BIKE nikali aur Santa ke sath uske ghar chale pada
Ghar ja kar Doctor ne pucha - Mariz kaha hai...
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Santa - are Mariz -wariz koi nahi hai, Taxi wala 500 rupaye maang raha tha aur tum 300 main le aae.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Ek Call Girl aur Ek Buddha Uncle

Ek Call Girl aur Ek 70 years ka buddha Uncle
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Call Girl - "Uncle, Aap Ek Baar Try Karo Na.
Uncle - "Main nahi Kar Paaunga"
Call Girl - Are Aao Uncle, Ek bar Try to karo
Uncle ne apna Khada Kiya
Aur Call Girl Ki Thokk Di..
Call Girl jor se chillayi "Hayy Main Mar Gayi... Aap to Bol Rahe the Ki Kar Nahi Paaunga..?
Uncle - Wo to main payment ke baare main bol raha tha...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Wish you Happy New Year 2014

Dear all, Wish You and Your Family a very Happy New Year 2014. May this year bring new Happiness, New Goals, New Achievements and a lot of New Inspirations in your Life...

Happy New Year 2014

Naya Saal Aaye Banke Ujala,
Khul jaye Aap ki Kismat ka Tala,
Hamesha Aap per rahe Meherban Upar wala,
Yahi Dua karta hai apka ye Chahne wala…
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014

*********

Keep the SMILE
Leave the TEAR,
Think of JOY
and Forget your FEAR,
Here i am wishing you a Very Happy New Year...

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Har Ek Dost Kamina Hota hai

Ek bar Do dost kahi ja rahe the..
chalte chalte unhe Ek chiraag mila..

Unhone Use ghisa to usme se Ek Jinn nikla..
-
-
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jinn bola - Hukum mere aaka..!!

main tum dono ki 3 wishes poori karunga...
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1st Wish
1st dost - Meri colony ki saari ladkiyo ko meri GF bana do.
-
2nd dost - mujhe ek Helmet chahiye
-
2nd Wish
1st dost - bagal wali colony ki saari ladkiyo ko bhi meri GF bana do.
-
2nd dost - Mujhe ek bike aur chahiye.
-
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3rd Wish
1st dost - iss puri city ki ladkiyo ko meri GF bana do.
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-
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2nd dost - Ab isko "Gay" bana do...!

Har Ek Dost Kamina Hota hai

Friday, November 8, 2013

Ladkiyo ke ultimate Funny Chutkule

Ek bar 2 Nangi Ladkiyo ne bank ko loot liya..
Bahar aate hi 1 boli - Chal ab jaldi se kapde pehan le, koi pehchan nahi payega..
Quki kisi bhi kamine ne shakal to dekhi hi nahi hogi.

*******

Ladki - Agar main mar jau to tum kya karoge
Ladka - Main bhi mar jaunga..
Ladki - Par Kyu?
-
-
Ladka - Yar tere chakkar main udhari itni ho gayi hai ki
jeena mushkil hai..

*******

Ek Ladki Doctor ke pass apne Lips dikhane gayi..
Doctor - Lips Kaise Fate?
Ladki - Kiss Kar Rahi Thi Ki achanak Kisi Ne
Darwaza Knock
Kiya Or Us Kamine Ne Ghabra Ke
-
-
-
Zip Band Kar Li..

*******

Ladki Ke Baap Ne Vidai Ke Waqt Dulhe Se Kaha "Beta ab hamari Izzat Tumhare Haath Mein Hai...
Dulha Bola - "Aap Chinta Mat Kijiye - Aaj Hi Loot Loonga!"

*******

1 Budha ek Ladki Se Takrya
Budha - Sorry
Ladki - Stupid... dikhta nahi hai kya
Tabhi ek Ladka us Se Takrya
Ladka - Sorry
Ladki - It's Ok
Budha - Bahenkilorry Meri Sorry Ki Spelling Galat Thi Kya...

*******

Ek Cute se bachhe ko dekh kar Ek Ladki ne uske Gaal par KISS kar diya
Ladki : I am Sorry, Apke Gaal par Lipstik Lag gayi
Bachaa : It's OK baby, "Kuch achha karne se agar DAAG lagte hain to DAAG achhe hain"

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Wish you Happy Diwali 2013

Dear all, Wish You and Your Family a very Happy Diwali 2013. May God fulfill all your Wishes in Wealth, Health & Happiness in your life...

Happy Diwali 2013, Diwali Wishes

Dewali ka ye Pawan tyohar,
Jeevan main laaye khushiya aapar,
Laxmi Ji viraje aapke dawar,
Ye Subh-kamnayen hamari karen sweekar!!
Wishing you and your family a very Happy Diwali 2013!

*******

Aai Aai Diwali aai,
Saath main kitni Khushiya laayi,
Dhoom machao, mauz manao, aap sabhi ko Diwali ki badhai...
Happy Diwali 2013

*******

Is Diwali par hamari dua hai ki,
Apka har sapna pura ho,
Duniya ke unche mukam apke ho,
Soharat ki bulandiyon par naam apka ho!
Wish you a very Happy Diwali 2013!

*******

Deep Jalte Jagmagate rahe,
Hum apko aap hame yaad aate rahe,
Jab tak Zindagi hai,
Dua hai hamari,
Aap Chand ki tarah Zagmagate rahe... Happy Diwali 2013

*******

Ek Dua Mangte hai hum apne Bhagwan se...
Ek Dua Mangte hai hum apne Bhagwan se...
Chahte hain Aapki Khushi Pure imaan se,
Sab Hasratein Puri Ho jae Aapki,
Aur Aap Muskaraye Dil-o-Jaan se!!
Happy Diwali 2013!

*******

Pal Pal Sunhare Phool Khile,
Kabhi Na Ho Kaanto Ka Samnaa,
Jindagi Aapki Khushiyo Se Bhari Rahe,
Dipawali Par Hamari Yahi Shubhkamna...

*******

May this Diwali brings lots of Good Luck and success to you! Happy Diwali 2013!

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Ek Baar 3 Dost Diwali Ke Baad Mile

Ek baar 3 Dost Diwali Ke Baad Mile
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1st - Mere Daddy mere liye 10,000 Ke Patake
Laaye,
Humne 3 Ghante Tak Bajaye,
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2nd - Mere Daddy 15,000 Ke
Pataake Laaye,
Humne 4 Ghante Tak Bajaye,
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3rd - Mere Daddy
Ghar Par Nahin The...
-
-
To Mera
Bhai 5000 Ka Sirf Ek hi Pataaka Laaya Aur Sari Raat
Humne
Bari-Bari Bajaya..
-
-
Jo samjha wo Sikander baki ke sab PAPPU ke Bhai

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Jija Sali ke Jokes and Chutkule

Sali - Jija ji Plz mujhe 500 rupey de do main agale hafte mai de dungi
-
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Jija - Tum 1000 lelo magar abhi do..plz

*******

Jija - Sali se, Aapke yahan ki sabse Mashoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali - Jija ji, jo yaha mash-hoor thi, usey to aap hi le gaye...

*******

Jija ka Dirty Mind
Jija - Ek 6 Inch Ki Cheez Hai Jise Hath Mein Pakadte Hi Ajeeb Sa Mahsoos Hone Lagta Hai Us Cheez Ka Naam Batao?
Sali Sharam Ke maare - Hey Bhagwan, Kitne Besharam Ho Tum..
Jija - Are Main To 500 Rupye Ke Note Ki Baat Kar Raha Tha, Tumhara To Dimaag Hi Ganda Hai.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Teacher and Student ke Solid Chutkule

Teacher : Jab Main Tumhare
Jitna tha,
Mere 100 marks Aate the..
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Student : Aji Kismat Achhi Thi
Aapki Jo Aapko Achha Teacher
Mil Gaya...
Hamari Kismat Aisi Kahan...

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Teacher to student
Aaj tumne homework kyun nahi kiya?
Student - sir, Ghar par light nai thi..
Teacher - to saale mombati jala leta..
Student - sir, machis nahi utha sakta tha,
Teacher - kyu ?
Student - sir, pooja ghar main rakhi hui thi..
Teacher - to uthayi kyun nai..
Student - nahaya nai tha sir,
Teacher - sale nahaya kyu nai tha.
Student - paani nahi tha sir..
Teacher - paani kyu nahi tha..
Student - sir motor nahi chal rahi thi,
Teacher - ullu ke pathhe ab motor ko kya hua tha..
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Student - sir aap kitne bade chutiye ho, abe saale kitni baar bolu ki light nahi thi...

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Latest Jokes on Call Girl

Ek Choti Ladki ne Ek Call Girl se pucha - Aanti apke pass Bangla hai, Car hai aur Bahut sara Paisa bhi hai...
Aap kaun sa Business karti hain...
Call Girl - Bas ek chota sa 'HOLE SALE' ka Business hai..

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Mahngaayi Ki Maar Call Girl par bhi...
Ek Call girl Ke Darwaje Par likha hua Tha ki
Only Pay For 1 Side & Get Other Side Bilkul Free

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Bechara Pappu

Bhagwan Pappu se - Beta kya chahiye...
Pappu - 1 Job, 1 badi si car aur usme Dher sari Ladkiya,
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Bhagwan - Tathastu,
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Aaj Pappu Girls school ki Bus ka Driver hai..

Soch samajh ke mango, Aaj kal Bhagwan bhi smart hai.

Bechara Pappu Bus ka driver

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Munna yahi se bahar aata hai na

Husband to Wife - Munna yahi se bahar aata hai na??
Wife Muskurate hue - Han but tum isme mat Jhanko,
abhi Nazar nahi aayega, bahut chota Suraakh (hole) hai..
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Husband - Yaar phir bhi dekhne to do na, Husband ne Surakh main se Jhanka par use kuch bhi Nazar nahi aaya..
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Thodi der Baad...

School ki Bell bajti hai..

Munna Bahar aata hai,

Aur husband wife Munne ko le kar Ghar chale jate hai..
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Moral - Surakh Gate Main bhi hota hai..

Lakin apki Soch ko Hamara SALAM...
Husband aur wife ki story

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Sharabi ki Masti

Ek bar Ek Sharabi ne bahut zyada Sharab pee li..
Jab wo Ghar aaya to usne jeb se chabi nikali aur tala kholne laga..
Haath kaapne ki wajha se chabi kabhi idhar to kabhi udhar hat jati,
Ek Admi Waha se ja raha tha to sharabi ne usey bataya ki tala nahi khul raha hai.
Us Admi ne Sharabi se kaha, lao chabi do tala main khol deta hoon
Sharabi ne kaha, Tala to main hi kholunga bas tum Ghar ko pakad ke rakhna...

Sharabi ki Masti

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Happy Independence Day

Happy Independence Day 2013. We wish you a very Happy Independence Day

Happy Independence Day

Watan hamara Misaal Mohabbat ki,
Todta hai deewaar Nafrat ki,
Meri Khush Naseebi, ki
Mili zindagi is chaman main, Bhula na
sake koi iski khushboo kabhi.
Happy Independence Day!
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Aao desh ka Samman kare
Shahido ki Shahadat Yaad kare
Ek baar phir se Rashtra ki kamaan,
Hum Hindustani apne haath dhare..
Aao.. Swantantra Divas ka Maan kare
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Na sar jhuka hai kabhi,
aur na jhukayengay Kabhi,
Jo apny dum pe jiyen sach main zindagi hai wohi...
Live like a true independent nation...
Happy Independence Day
!*********!

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Sharabi Chuha

Ek Chuha Sarab ke Gilaas main gir gaya..
waha se 1 Billi ja rahi thi to Chuhe ne Billi se kaha ki
Mujhe yaha se nikalo phir chahe mujhe Kha lena...
Billi ne laat mari aur Gilass gira diya...
Chuha nikal ke Bhaga aur Bil main Ghus gaya,
Billi : Jhute, Dhokebaaj,tum to kah rahe the ki mujhe nikalo aur phir mujhe kha lena,
Chuha muskraya aur bola,
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Jani Naraj mat hona, us Waqt main 'SHARAB' ke Nashe main tha...

Thursday, July 11, 2013

CID Jokes and Chutkule

Lady : Ajay Mera Bhai Tha
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DAYA : Kya..?? Ajay Tumhara Bhai Tha..??
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Lady : Haan, Ajay Mera Bhai Tha
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ABHIJEET : "Ajay Sach main Tumhara
Bhai Tha..??
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Lady : "Ha Sir...Wo Mera Bhai Tha
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ACP : "My God, Iska Matlab, Tum Ajay
Ki Bahen Ho...!!!

Friday, June 7, 2013

Ladka aur Ladki ki Mast Shayari

Ladka : Ek Wada tha Tera har Wayde ke peeche..
tu milegi mujhe har gali har darwaze ke piche..
par Tu bewafa nikli..
Ek tu hi na thi mere Janaze ke piche

Ladki : Ek Wada tha Mera har wayde ke peeche..
Main milungi tujhe har gali har darwaze ke piche..
par tune mud ke bhi na dekha..
Ek or Janaza tha "Tere Janaze ke peeche...

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Mujhko Rulakar Dil uska bhi roya hoga
Chehra Aansuo se usne bhi dhoya hoga
Agar naa kiya haasil kuch humne pyar main
Kuch na Kuch usne bhi khoya to hoga...

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Tum Gaye To Har Khushi Chali Gayi
Tumhare Bina Chiragoo Main Roshni Chali Gayi
Kya Kahun Kya Gurzra Hai Iss Dil Par
Hum Zinda Reh Gaye Par Hamari Zindagi Chali Gayi...

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Aapki bewafai ka shukriya kuch is tarha se adaa karu,
Aap bhool bhi jaye to main har pal yaad karu,
Muhabbat ne bas itna sikhaya hai mujhe,
Ki sabse pehle aapki Salamati ki duaa karu...

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Mera Har Lamha Chura Liya Aapne..
Aankhon Ko Ek Chaand Dikha Diya Aapne..
Hamko Zindagi Di Kisi Aur Nay..
Par Itna Payar Dekar Jeena Sikha Diya Aapne...

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Kahate hain Zindgi ka Aakhiri Thhikana Khuda ka ghar hai..
Kuch to Ibadat kar le, Musafir,
Kisi ke ghar khali haath nahi jate...!

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Best Hindi Poems for Girl Friend

Majedar Hindi Poems for Girl Friend
Teri Doli uthi, Meri Maiyyat uthi,
Phool Tujh par bhi barse, Phool Mujh par bhi barse,

FARQ SIRF ITNA THA,
Tu saj gayi, Aur Mujhe sajaya gaya,
Tu bhi ghar ko chali, Main bi ghar ko chala,

FARQ SIRF ITNA THA,
Tu Uth ke gayi, Mujhe Uthaya gaya,
Mehfil wahan bhi thi, Log yahan bhi the,

FARQ SIRF ITNA THA,
Unka hasna wahan, Inka rona yahan,
Qazi udhar bhi tha, Molvi idhar bhi tha,
Do bol tere pade, Do bol mere pade,
Tera nikah pada, Mera janaaza pada,

FARQ SIRF ITNA THA,
Tujhe apnaya gaya, Mujhe Dafnaya gaya...

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Maine kaha wo Ajnabi hai...
Mere Dil ne kaha yeh dil lagi hai...
Maine kaha wo sapna hai...
Mere Dil ne kaha phir bhi wo apna hai...
Maine kaha wo do pal ki mulaqat hai...
Mere Dil ne kaha wo sadyon ka sath hai...
Maine kaha wo meri har hai...
Mere Dil ne kaha yehi to pyar hai...

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Sab se chupa kar dard jo wo muskuara diya,
Uski hansi ne to aaj mujh ko rula diya,
Khud bhi wo hum say bichar ke Adhoore se ho gaye
Mujh ko bhi itnay logon mein tanha bana diya.....

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socha tha ki har mod par tera intzaar karenge,
par kaya karen Kambakhat sadak hi sidhi nikli...

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Kasur na Unka hai na mera,
Hum dono hi rishton ki rasmein nibhate rahe,
Woh dosti ka ehsaas jatate rahe,
Hum Mohabbat ko dil mein chupate rahe...

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Dil na lagana kisi se hamesa dard hi paaoge,
beete Lamhon ko yaad karke rote hi jaooge,
karni hi hai to karo Gehri dosti humse
ummeed se jyada hi paooge

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Tum Khud Nahi Jante Tum
Kitne Pyare Ho
Jaan Ho Humari Par Jaan
Se Pyare Ho
Duriyon Ke Hone Se Koi
Fark Nahi Padta
Tum Kal Bhi Humare the
Or Aaj Bhi Humare Ho

*************

Jab tanhai main Apki yaad aati hai,
hotho par bas ek hi fariyaad aati hai...
khuda aapko har khushi de...
kyunki hamari khushi to aapki Khushi ke baad aati hai...

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Jab rulana hi tha to Hansaya kyu,
Mujhe begana hi kehana tha to apna banaya hi kyu,
Jab hansna hi tha mere ashqoo par,
Fir mujhe hansi ka matlab samjhaya hi kyu.

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Jannat A noor ka deedar hua abhi abhi...
Chaya hai surur unka aitabar hua hai abhi abhi...
Chehare se unke Apni nazar na hata saku...
Na jane kyu humko bhi IshQ hua abhi abhi...

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Dil se dil badi muskil se milte hain
Tufanoo main sahil badi muskil se milte hai
Aise to milte hain bahut Gulabi Gall wale
Par Gulabi Gallo per Til badi muskil se milte hai

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Mulakat hui jab unse ek raat ko,
Samne baithe hue the wo...
Haat main apne sabnam ka pyala liye...
Baat Aise kuch kar rahe the Wo...
Sabnam unki aankho se jhalkti hui...
Sab ko apna diwana kar rahe the Wo...
Mulakat hui jab unse ek raat ko

Best Hindi Poems for Girl Friend